This question is simple, but yet so difficult to answer. There is no logical explanation as to why I don’t enjoy every single moment of my life. I remember growing up poor. I remember as a child watching the news of rich celebrities committing suicide or going through hardships without fully understanding what their problems were.
It made me question myself, I remember pondering on what caused these successful people to go downhill. Meanwhile, I felt perfectly content with everything in my life just having some toys and a PlayStation. I remember feeling happy all of the time—I was innocent and unexposed to the beautiful cruel nature of reality.
As I reached around my teenage years, I started to go through the normal changes that most teenagers would go through. I remember the content I saw on TV and noted that life can be hell. Yet, I still didn’t understand those feelings yet because nothing too bad ever happened to me.
I believe those non-enjoyable moments started to happen subconsciously. We learn to not enjoy moments through experience. If something becomes a bad experience, then it isn’t enjoyable and our brains will take note of it. If we enjoy something, then we simply enjoy it. What about being bored? Isn’t that enjoyable? I remember being bored all of the time when I went grocery shopping with my mom, it sucked. I could never find stimulation and there was no benefit to me besides walking around the store. Like most kids, I wanted to be home playing video games.
As the bad and good experiences build up through our memories, I believe that we begin to manipulate ourselves when something is enjoyable and when something isn’t. I learned to appreciate meditation after going through a bad stage of teenage life, ah! It hit me! The exposure happened, now I understand! When I was a kid, I didn’t understand meditation and was confused why people did it. I just saw it as an unproductive method of doing nothing. As I grew older, I started to understand that our feelings and memories can conflict with each other.
The non-enjoyable moments in our lives become alive within our head. When I first started to meditate, I found something inside of me that I would’ve never known. We all have those enjoyable and non-enjoyable moments going through us every day. When I am alone, my brain will begin to remind me a mixture of bad and good times that I have experienced all throughout my life. That is when us humans have to learn to get in touch with our feelings.
How one enjoys life is how one perceives it. Not everybody enjoys playing video games, but some do. Not everyone enjoys meditation but could benefit from it. Everyone could benefit from exercise, but not everyone likes to do it. What everyone CAN do is find the beauty and understanding of the cruel nature that we all live in.
Enlightenment doesn’t happen overnight, but once someone “awakens”, then everything from there on, changes.
It’s okay to not feel good every day, it’s part of our primitive nature. It’s okay to feel happy, sad, and mad. What isn’t okay is to blame everything else for the cause of one’s failure. Getting in touch with our feelings and understanding them is the key to enjoying life to it’s fullest content.
Most (I’ll come back to why I said “most” later) people don’t enjoy every moment of their lives because some things just aren’t enjoyable. For example: pain. Yes people are into different things and enjoy pain in a sexual context, but don’t tell me you just love the feeling of stubbing your toe on the foot of a couch. It’s just not possible.
There is always something that people don’t find enjoyable in life. It’s not the same thing for every person, but there is always at least one thing. Some other examples of things you might not enjoy:
- Waking up in the morning
- Social encounters
- Being alone
You get my point. Some things just aren’t enjoyable to people.
Getting back to why I said “most” in the first line: there are people (often very religious people) who can look at the positive of everything. They see everything as a part of God and therefore think, “how could I not enjoy something that God created?” Those type of people are on a higher level than most of us.
What you can learn from those people is to look at the positive everything you can, but at least try to enjoy what you can, and forget about the things you don’t enjoy in life. You’re only alive for so long, enjoy the time you have.
Hmm, because life requires maintenance, and some of that maintenance is kind of boring, or stressful to my experience of things. I will give a couple of examples.
Cleaning the cat box. There is no way this is a ‘joyful’ experience. I don’t hate it, and I get some satisfaction knowing I am doing what is right by my pet. Cleaning toilets is in the same category. The act isn’t very stimulating, but I get satisfaction knowing it’s done. I have some pride in knowing my family, friends, and guests can use my bathroom without it being a negative experience.
A more complicated example is selling my art at a market. This is one of those things full of a myriad of emotional responses, and joy can be one of them. So is anxiety. It’s a lot of work to pack up all your creative wares and then put yourself on display. It’s very hard not to feel some vulnerability doing so. When I get ‘skunked’, (sell nothing), I do take it a little personally. Have doubts about my creative communication, or talent even. On other occasions, I sell well, and I feel pride and accomplishment. I enjoy talking to other vendors, as well as the public, once I am doing it, but as an introvert, I have anxiety going into a public and highly social situation. So even though I can experience joy with the process of selling and marketing, it takes self discipline to put myself out there and follow through.
Because we do not know how to enjoy life in the most effective way. As long as we try enjoying life only for ourselves we keep filling our own vessels, getting satiated, turned off, our very limited, subjective vessels arte capable of holding, accumulating very limited amount of pleasures.
True, infinite enjoyment comes when we start receiving pleasures for others, when we become a transparent pipeline where all the pleasures of the world flow through. Thus while we do not keep anything for ourselves, everything flows through us. Then every moment becomes joy.
Moreover as we become pipelines and do not focus on ourselves we reveal and connect to the natural source of all the pleasures. And this connection to the source is the greatest possible pleasure of all.
Becuase then it wouldn’t be enjoyable.
Pain is what makes relaxation and enjoyment special. Don’t eat candy all day, savorit and work your way through your vegetables with a smile on your face anticipating your candy.
Because you are enslaved by your emotions.
Your emotions have a conciseness of their own. Like all relationships at any given moment one is dominant over the other.
Don’t be a slave to your emotions.
I do enjoy every moment! I spent a significant portion of my day photographing my cat’s fluffy paws.
Dmitriy, I do enjoy every moment of my life. Sometimes, when I am tired and burdened by work, I think I am not enjoying some moments of my life but in retrospect, I am happy I went through those difficult moments 🙂
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